My Mother and Me

It's interesting the things you recall of your mother once you become a mother yourself. My mom right now says she goes to bed around 11pm. I can't believe this and I keep thinking she's just reading the clock wrong. The mom I remember always fell asleep around 9pm, so clearly my mother must be mistaken (or on drugs - just kidding) to think she can stay awake til 11pm on a nightly basis.

Now I'm realizing that my mom probably fell asleep at 9pm because of all the things she tried to pack into her day in order to raise us kids. From the time I can remember, my mother was always up and dressed before my brother and I got out of bed. Once out of our shower, she would come into our room to ask what we wanted for breakfast. Choices were always egg, waffle, oatmeal, toast… Mom would take our orders and have breakfast ready by the time we were dressed. Then it would be off to school. At night she would make sure our homework was finished, cook dinner, and then as a family we would watch some TV, sometimes getting a snack around 8:30 with dad - either a bowl of ice cream or a bowl of cereal. Mom would always announce after cleaning up the kitchen that the "kitchen was closed".

I'm understanding some of those memories more now. Because of stress from work, my milk supply is waning. In order to get enough milk for Alli, I'm getting up now at 4:30am to pump an extra bottle. Luckily, I produce enough when I'm not working to keep her at least satisfied. And if for some reason I'm short and she cries, I have supplies because of my early morning pumping sessions. During work days, I stay up after pumping so that I can get completely ready for work and log in for at least 1/2 hour before Alli wakes up. I do this for two reasons: 1) I get paid hourly and this helps increase our income slightly and 2) I am able to put in time that I really need for the job without losing time with my family.

When I finally finish dinner dishes and bottles, I just want to say "kitchen is closed", as in, "don't you dare make any more mess in this room cause I have no energy left to clean it!" Bedtime seems to be 8:30-9:00, even though dad stays up til 10 or 11 still. Periodically I stay up with him til 10 (helping with photography stuff usually). I try to keep this at a minimum, not that I don't like staying up with my husband, but I wind up grumpy and that is a worse price to pay we've found.

The last two weeks I've done really dumb things, like forget to pack Alli's solid foods in her lunch bag for Krista's. It's not that bad - we've stocked Krista's place with rice cereal, so at least she gets that. But I always look dumbfounded when I hear that I've done something so stupid and say "I'm going for the mother of the year award". It took my husband to remind me that it's the things that go unnoticed that apply to the mother of the year award, not the stupid little oversights that happen periodically. Getting up early to pump that extra bottle, cooking breakfast to make sure the kids have something healthy to eat in the morning, working while the family sleeps so as to not miss any family time, etc. Mom, I'm sorry it took me almost 40 years to realize some of the truly awesome things you did for us growing up. So here's your mother of the year award - finally.