I'm Not Ready!!!

That seems to be a common theme for me lately in our house, but I'm especially feeling it this week as I look at the month ahead...

This weekend (tomorrow) is Natalie's 1st birthday!  I'M NOT READY!!!  I mean, we have presents, and will have cupcakes, and I'll figure out food tomorrow morning, but I'm just NOT READY for Natalie to be 1!!!

Next Friday Kim and I fly off to Italy for 8 days.  I'M NOT READY!!!  I mean, we have almost all of the stuff we need to bring on the trip, and reservations made, and all of that good stuff, but I'm just NOT READY to leave the girls for such a long time.

Because we are leaving for Italy, I am weaning Natalie off of me and to bottles only, round the clock.  NEITHER OF US ARE READY!!!  It's hard for me to get up and grab a bottle when I could just feed her myself.  She also is not ready, as evidenced by her pushing the bottle of breast milk away and hitting my chest to show me where she wants the "mommy's milk" from.  This has truly been the hardest thing I've had to wrestle with emotionally.  I feel horrible weaning her early.  But I also know that I don't want to pump through our vacation, and even if I did, the chance of her going back to nursing after 9 days of being with a bottle is just a step backward.  The timing just seems horrible, but we will get through it, ready or not!

And speaking of milk, you know my exploding freezer full of all that stored milk?  I'm counting the ounces now.  She gets almond milk during the day, and only breast milk first thing in the morning and before bed.  I'm hoping with that we get another 2 weeks, and then I'm completely out!  Ugh.  I'M NOT READY to be out of Mommy's Milk!!

Halloween.  Yes, it's a whole month away.  But we are gone the next 2 weekends, which puts our first full weekend back the last weekend of October, when everyone is having their Halloween parties.  Halloween?  I'M NOT READY!  So this weekend we are going to the Halloween store to see if we can get our costumes ready (as if we don't have enough on our plate already!)

So, what do I have to say about the whole month of October this year?  I'M NOT READY!!!!