We had our first milestone this past week - Alli's umbilical cord fell off...on Thursday morning. So, why did it take me 3 days to post this to the blog? Well, any mother I assume knows, but I didn't. It's the hazing that has to take place to really become part of "The Mothers Club". You ask what this is? Well, it's my interpretation of what every mom (as I'm finding) has to go through to graduate to the other side and learn life not as we ever knew it before.
When you hear about infants, you hear that they only eat, sleep, and poop. You hear stories of how precious they are, how wonderful it is to be a mom, etc. But I'm telling a slightly different story. Yes, Alli is adorable and I wouldn't trade her for the world. But the cycles of the day (or feeding hours) are more like a hazing period to me. How is it that I can look at this adorable child as she yawns while waking up, makes faces like crazy, and then slowly opens her eyes just to gaze up at me. My heart just sinks thinking that this beautiful creature came out of my belly. And then we nurse and I play with her hands, tell her stories, stroke her head, sing... (What else are you supposed to do when you're stuck on a chair for 30 minutes!) And then we get up and sometimes she's awake and calm and happy. And I think 'this is so wonderful'. And then she stays awake and there is nothing I can do to entertain her at this age. And then some more time passes and she gets fussy, constantly wants to be held, which is wonderful, but also trying if you want to accomplish anything for your own personal life. And then the fussiness turns into crying and all you can think is "God child, can't you just fall asleep already?" And then you try every trick in the book to appease her, resorting last for the boob because what are the chances she's actually hungry already? And then finally, she falls asleep and you are relieved, happy, exhausted. Unfortunately, 1/2 hour later, you see her squirming and all you can think of is "NOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'm not ready!!! I can't do this again!!!" And then she wakes up with her beautiful yawn, her facial expressions, and then opens her eyes and you think "you are the most wonderful thing..." And so goes the hazing of motherhood - the total rollercoaster of emotions, anxiety, exhaustion.
I hear everyone's hazing period is different. I'm hoping to be one of the lucky ones with a short term.
5 comments:
Jolt makes caffeine gum. I went through crates of it when Aidan came home.
Jenny, You have all my sympathy and I wish I could be there to help you. It's a tough job for sure but hopefully you can get some rest when Kim takes over. Love You
Welcome to motherhood!!! It is the most wonderful, painful and difficult thing I have ever done. The hazing period does end for a while, and you WILL sleep again. And then one day you will wake up only to realize that she is on the brink of the dreaded teenage years and you would love to go back to the hazing period for just a day. They are a precious gift and though sometimes it may seem difficult, enjoy the time you have with her. You will look at her as your greatest accomplishment, you will wonder what you ever did without her. Love Aunt Wendy
Hehehe.
I waiting for the day when you say something to Alli and immediately think "OMG, I'm my mother!"
Hehehe.
I love this hazing story! Thanks for sharing. Oh my goodness, I have no idea what to expect... please keep blogging. Luv ya.
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